I think most people when faced with heartache can withdraw from others. Whether the need is to deal with the shock of a situation, to not face what would seem like embarrassment, or to just plain hide from the world. Gaging your own heart and personality type, only you will know what is healthy and where your boundaries lie.
My mother has a broken heart right now. Her best friend of 40+ years is in ICU and her prognosis is so not positive. My mom hurts! She has loved this best friend for so long. They have ridden the wave of marriage, divorce, children marrying, grandchildren, girl lunches, trips, a stong faith in Christ, tears and lots of laughter. This best friend is getting ready to leave this world for a new Home.
While some of her friends are handling their grief by talking about their friend, the newest prognosis after talking to the nurses, etc, my mom needs to get quiet and think. She’s reflecting on her many wonderful years with this best friend. She’s isolating to some extent. It’s not an unhealthy type. It’s how my mom processes big life moments. It’s how I do as well.
There are many personality profile types. Do you know yours? Do you know your closest loved ones style? Knowing how you naturally tend to process the joys and heartaches of this life give you the genuine freedom to heal. To take with you what aspects of this grief you can use for good; to become better, stronger, more compassionate, loving, and to be a blessing to someone else! Check out the DISC and 16 Personalities. There is a brief questionnaire which will pretty much nail your style.
There is a Bible verse from Ecclesiastes 4:12 that says, “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Some will say that it is not healthy to isolate. And, this may very well be the case! If your type tends to be beautifully gregarious or a precious butterfly extrovert, then too much isolation is not good for you. We need to pay attention to our loved ones or anyone for that matter that we know as an extrovert and they have been isolating too much. They may need you. In fact, step into that relationship to help them cope with their broken heart. As an introvert myself, I need to isolate to process heartache. In knowing and loving the Bible scripture above, I do always have a close few that are aware of my heart condition. I’m selective on who I open up to, but they know my style and quietly love me through those times in life. There is a delicate balance of being in someones business, giving them space, and lovingly walking the walk hand in hand. This could be literal or figuratively in regards to hand in hand. I’m a huge believer in hugs too, so those I love get lots of genuine hugs and hand holding if they want/need that.
Do you know that your life matters? Do you know how many people on this planet, your life and story have impacted in a POSITIVE way? Your kindness to a stranger that you had no idea needed it. Your showing up to comfort someone at just the right time. Making someone laugh a great gut laugh, radiating your heart from within, and giving of yourself have blessed others in this world! Let others bless you in your time of need and don’t ever get so down that you forget the heartache you are experiencing needs to be used to help another. You are needed in this world. There is still a plan unfolding for you to impact others and build them up for good!
Only you know your heart and needs to isolate and then to emerge. Stay close to someone you trust. That’s a key word in times of heartache; trust! For me, I lean on a strong faith in Christ who sustains me in deep heartache and my day to day life. I also have a sweet precious group of girlfriends and a SELECT few family members I open up to help me process life.
Remember who you are. Remember the gifts you have been given at birth to use for good and love. Remember, you will prevail better and more lovely.